You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize