so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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