...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
