what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
