One girl and one boy is just not enough.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
