I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
