Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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