Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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