We're facebook friends in real life
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
