Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
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she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
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