Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
