he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
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As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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