im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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