she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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