i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
