If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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