There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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