and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
