I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
