I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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