Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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