I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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