I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
