I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize