I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize