I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
