I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
