I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
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I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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