Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
