you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Threesome in a minivan. New low
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
