i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
