We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
