wat bout pragnant strippers??
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she looked like the before picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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