it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
farters have to be the big spoon...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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