I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
