We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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