its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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