I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
