You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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