God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
