it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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