i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
