Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
