Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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