i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
