you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
