yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
