I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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