Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
