hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I need to stop coming to work sober
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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