you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
