Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
