I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
