he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
