I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
The air taste purple.
Randomize
