All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
