he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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