I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
