I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
