if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
third nipple confirmed
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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