He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
