Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
