Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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